Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Text me some of your sweat
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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