forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
