Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
