I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
