ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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