Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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