Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
