I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh god it's open bar.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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