problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
