guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
