new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
