you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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