the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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