My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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