Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
