Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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