how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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