They should really pass out barf bags in church
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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