I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I smell stomach acid.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
