wat bout pragnant strippers??
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
