she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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