definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
