It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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