She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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