I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
