Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
