He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
