And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
