I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
