threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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