You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
