glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
