So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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