She's JV to your varsity
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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