I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
