Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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