I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
