It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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