margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What a dumb baby whore.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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