I will die if light touches me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
this hospital has no fireball
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Damn victory sex feels great
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
