If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
