Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize