Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
These tits shall not be calmed
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
