You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
