Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
