Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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