I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
