Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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