I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
