Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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