There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
