Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
