i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
