I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
