Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
