Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
