Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i think i just lost a toe
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
