I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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