I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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