Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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