I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
