yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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