so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
