Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
